Kye Cerita wis tau tak tulis nggo bahasa indonesia,kye versi bahasa bumiayuan.
jaman baleg pertama ( lagi mbrahol-mbrahole )
Kota Bumiayu,tempat laire nyong,dikelilingi pegunungan sing masya Allah indahe,karo gunung Slamet sing ngadeg jejeg ning gar wetan kaya semar sing lagi nein petuah,hawane adem tur penduduke ramah-ramah.pesantren-pesantren pating gludag ning nggal pelosok desa,nglengkapi kesakralane kota bumiayu,nganti wong luar bumiayu njuluki bumiayu kota santri,tapi sebenere ora kabeh penduduke dadi santri.
Nyong karo geng-e nyong CDC ( Crazy devil Club ) kwe mlebu ning golongan Troublemakers ( tukang gawe rusuh ) sing banget diwadehi ding guru agama karo kyai-kyai,ana salah siji kyai sing banget wadehe maring nyong,arane kyai Dulkenyut ( aran Samaran ) deweke sekampung karo nyong,mbuh kepriben deweke wadeh nemen karo nyong,pidahal nyong ora tau nggawe masalah karo deweke atawa keluargane.angger deweke liwat ning tempat nongkronge nyong karo kanca se geng mesti nyindir nyong karo kanca-kanca,kaya kiye nyindire.." sing arane wong mendem ( mabok ) kwe patang puluh dina sembahyange ora sah,karo mbesuk bakal mlebu neraka " ora mung nyindir tok,kadang deweke ya ngece nemen ning nyong karo kanca-kancaku,yen bar ngece terus mbangga-mbanggakna anake dewek sing arane Dulkempot ( aran samaran maning ),nyong karo kanca-kanca meneng bae,yong lagi mendem terus wedi kuwalat,nyong terima bae penghinaan kiye.
Malem Jumat Ba'da Isya
kaya biasane nyong nongkrong karo kanca geng-e nyong ning tempat favorit ( pasar,terminal ) jaman semono terminal esih ning ngarepe pasar jero, Si Kaswin genjrang genjreng cekelan gitar,si bagol tuku arak limang botol,ora suwe wis komplit personil geng CDC.
" Yuh pestane dimulai "
mendem kabeh,ngromed kabeh,lagi asik-asike nyong pada pesta,mbuh sing endi cempulekE,ujug-ujug kyai Dulkenyut wis ana ning ngarepanku.
Astaghfirulllllloooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh....
Hei happy,kiye mbok malem jumat...sing ngarani malem minggu sapa pak kyai ( nyong semaur )..hhooooo dasar bocah gemblung,mbokya malem jumat pada yasinan kye tah malah pada mendem,dosa gede kye,dosa gede,kon-kon kabhe kwe bakal dadi intipe neraka jahanam.
nyong meneng bae ora njawab,ngurusi temen ngko neng ari cangkeme wis bengor nengsih meneng dewek,puluhan hadits karo dalil metu kabeh sing cakeme kyai dulkenyut,sawise cangkem bengor deweke lunga,nyong karo kanca-kanca lanjut mendeme.
Durung ana limang menit Kyai Dulkenyut lunga,jebul deweke balik maning maring tempat nongkronge nyong,waduh kye wong arep ndremEmEl maning apa yah.
Heiiii bocah intipe neraka,kon weruh anakku Dulkempot ora? ( kyai dulkenyut takone karo matane ndelengnane sinis nemen,njelehi lah pokoke )
( Nyong ngadeg )...Pak Kyai,rika nggoleti anakke rika..?
iya hep,kon weruh si dulkempot maring endi,awite magrib nganti saiki dikongkon tuku gorengan koh ora balik-balik.
yuh tak tidokna anake rika lagi ning endi ( kyai dulkenyut ngintil ning mburiku )
His his his daning mlebu pasar hep mbokan ning njero peteng?
rika kepengin ketemu anake rika belih,ari kepengin ya gari ngintil ora usah kakehen cangkem ( nyong njawab karo sewot )
his daning nyangkem nyangkemna kon maring wongtua kualat ngko kon hep...
wis gari meneng lah,brisik bae rika.
tapi,iloken dulkempot peteng-peteng ning njero pasar hep?
( barang ning njero pasar ana lilin murub dikelilingi uwong )
kaeh,kaeh pak kyai anake rika lagi cekelan kartu remi ( nyong nidokna dulkempot ning kyaine )
ASSSTAGGGGGGGFIIIIRRUUUUUULLLLLOOOOOOOO....OOOOO...OHHHHH...DUUUUULLLLLLKEMPOTTT!!!!
BUBAAAARRRRRR....BUBBBAAAAAARRRRRRR...RRRRR!!!!
kanca judine Dulkempot mlencinat kabeh karo ngreok duit sing nggo taruhan
Ya Allooh daning kaya kiye cobaan uripe kulo..( kyaine lemes dedes arep tiba,jebulane sesek napase kyai dulkenyut kumat gara-gara weuh dulkempot judi,nyong karo dulkempot nggotong kyai dulkenyut maring tempat nongkrongku )
Raimu sih priben hep bisane bapane nyong digawa mlebu pasar,mbok nyong mau wis pesen karo raimu,angger bapane nyong nggoleti,apen-apen ora weruh ( dulkempot nggranyami nyong )
" gyeh kunyuk,nyong kye nglakoni sing sering diwejangna ding bapane Raimu,jare bapane raimu dadi uwong kwe ora kena goroh,mendem kwe dosa Dul,apa maning ditambahi goroh,nengsih nyong siksane dobel belih ning neraka"...( nyong njawab ning dulkempot karo mencilak )
Dasar monyong raimu tah hep...
raimu ya mbahe monyong dul deleng rah kwe cangkeme njeblEh kaya kwe wkwkwkwkwkwkkwkkwkkwk
barang anjog ning terminal,kancane nyong geger..." ajiiibbb ana apa kiye,wah payahlah hepi karo pak kyai mendem ora ngajak-ngajak,kyaine nganti tepar kaya kiye"....( wkwkkwkwkwkwkwkw nyong ngekek,dikira bar mendem karo kyaine )
Nduasmu atos,bapaku klenger gara-gara weruh nyong judi koh,kunyuk nemen kye si hepi nidokna ( dulkempot ngromed maning )
wakakakakakkakakakakakakakkakakakakakakkakakakak...kancaku ggeeeerrrrr kabeh
eee yah raimu-raimu koh malah pada ngguyoni,kye priben carane ben bapane nyong sadar mbarah ( dulkempot nggranyami ning bocahan )
ana minyak angin belih ( nyong takon ning bocahan )
langka hep...minyak wangi sih ana belih...ya langka hep ( si kaswin njawab )
Pan nggo apa sih hep ( si KEmod takon )
nggo diolesna ning cungure kyaine mod ben cepet sadar
Angger nggo arak bae priben hep? mambune kan wangi ikih ( kemod njawab maning )
cerdas juga ente mod,ya wis nggo arak bae...
hob hob hob ngko ndisit,edan apa daning cungure bapane nyong pan dijejeli arak,sing bener bae mbarah...( dulkempot ngadang-ngadangi )
darurat dul...darurat...daripada bapamu ora tangi-tangi terus bablas modar priben,ente gelem ngko wong-wong pada krungu bapamu modar gara-gara weruh kon judi?
yawislah apa karepe kon-kon pada sing penting bapane nyong sadar ( akhire dulkempot pasrah,kyai dulkenyut diolesi arak ning bolongan irunge )
ora suwe kyaine tangi " ASTAGHFIRRUULLOOHHH,bisane kon dadi seneng judi,bisane dul..?astaghfirruullooh kon mabok anapan yah dul..?
nyong ora mabok pa..( dulkempot njawab )
wis gari ngaku kye mambu arak kaya kye sing cocotmu koh..!!!!
wkwkwkwkwkkwkwkwkwkwkkwkw...nyong karo kanca-kanca gembuyu ngekrek weruh bapa karo anak kudon,kyaine belih ngarti yen bolongan irunge bar diolesi arak..." wis wis ari pan kudon ning umah bae pak kyai..wkwkwkwkwkwkkwkwkwkkwkwkwk"...bapa karo anak balik rangkulan,anjog umah tukaran apa kepriben mbuh nyong ora ngerti.
barang esuke bar maghrib kyai dulkempot balik sing masjid bar wiridan suwe nemen nean,ketemu ning dalan karo nyong..."pak kyai pan maring endi rika?"...pan balik ning umah hep....ora nggoleti anake rika maning pak kyai? ( nyong takon karo nyrenges )...mbuhlah hep...( kyaine njlontor ora wani ngromed maning ning ngarepku )
( kye kisah nyata,hikmahe dadi uwong kwe aja sokan ngucik-ngucik alane wong liya,weruh alane wong liya tapi ora weruh alane dewek,beresi ndisit kelakuane dewek karo keluargane dewek,yen wis bisa tembe mberesi kelakuane wong liya )
( Sumenep - 07 - 06 - 2011 )
jaman baleg pertama ( lagi mbrahol-mbrahole )
Kota Bumiayu,tempat laire nyong,dikelilingi pegunungan sing masya Allah indahe,karo gunung Slamet sing ngadeg jejeg ning gar wetan kaya semar sing lagi nein petuah,hawane adem tur penduduke ramah-ramah.pesantren-pesantren pating gludag ning nggal pelosok desa,nglengkapi kesakralane kota bumiayu,nganti wong luar bumiayu njuluki bumiayu kota santri,tapi sebenere ora kabeh penduduke dadi santri.
Nyong karo geng-e nyong CDC ( Crazy devil Club ) kwe mlebu ning golongan Troublemakers ( tukang gawe rusuh ) sing banget diwadehi ding guru agama karo kyai-kyai,ana salah siji kyai sing banget wadehe maring nyong,arane kyai Dulkenyut ( aran Samaran ) deweke sekampung karo nyong,mbuh kepriben deweke wadeh nemen karo nyong,pidahal nyong ora tau nggawe masalah karo deweke atawa keluargane.angger deweke liwat ning tempat nongkronge nyong karo kanca se geng mesti nyindir nyong karo kanca-kanca,kaya kiye nyindire.." sing arane wong mendem ( mabok ) kwe patang puluh dina sembahyange ora sah,karo mbesuk bakal mlebu neraka " ora mung nyindir tok,kadang deweke ya ngece nemen ning nyong karo kanca-kancaku,yen bar ngece terus mbangga-mbanggakna anake dewek sing arane Dulkempot ( aran samaran maning ),nyong karo kanca-kanca meneng bae,yong lagi mendem terus wedi kuwalat,nyong terima bae penghinaan kiye.
Malem Jumat Ba'da Isya
kaya biasane nyong nongkrong karo kanca geng-e nyong ning tempat favorit ( pasar,terminal ) jaman semono terminal esih ning ngarepe pasar jero, Si Kaswin genjrang genjreng cekelan gitar,si bagol tuku arak limang botol,ora suwe wis komplit personil geng CDC.
" Yuh pestane dimulai "
mendem kabeh,ngromed kabeh,lagi asik-asike nyong pada pesta,mbuh sing endi cempulekE,ujug-ujug kyai Dulkenyut wis ana ning ngarepanku.
Astaghfirulllllloooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh....
Hei happy,kiye mbok malem jumat...sing ngarani malem minggu sapa pak kyai ( nyong semaur )..hhooooo dasar bocah gemblung,mbokya malem jumat pada yasinan kye tah malah pada mendem,dosa gede kye,dosa gede,kon-kon kabhe kwe bakal dadi intipe neraka jahanam.
nyong meneng bae ora njawab,ngurusi temen ngko neng ari cangkeme wis bengor nengsih meneng dewek,puluhan hadits karo dalil metu kabeh sing cakeme kyai dulkenyut,sawise cangkem bengor deweke lunga,nyong karo kanca-kanca lanjut mendeme.
Durung ana limang menit Kyai Dulkenyut lunga,jebul deweke balik maning maring tempat nongkronge nyong,waduh kye wong arep ndremEmEl maning apa yah.
Heiiii bocah intipe neraka,kon weruh anakku Dulkempot ora? ( kyai dulkenyut takone karo matane ndelengnane sinis nemen,njelehi lah pokoke )
( Nyong ngadeg )...Pak Kyai,rika nggoleti anakke rika..?
iya hep,kon weruh si dulkempot maring endi,awite magrib nganti saiki dikongkon tuku gorengan koh ora balik-balik.
yuh tak tidokna anake rika lagi ning endi ( kyai dulkenyut ngintil ning mburiku )
His his his daning mlebu pasar hep mbokan ning njero peteng?
rika kepengin ketemu anake rika belih,ari kepengin ya gari ngintil ora usah kakehen cangkem ( nyong njawab karo sewot )
his daning nyangkem nyangkemna kon maring wongtua kualat ngko kon hep...
wis gari meneng lah,brisik bae rika.
tapi,iloken dulkempot peteng-peteng ning njero pasar hep?
( barang ning njero pasar ana lilin murub dikelilingi uwong )
kaeh,kaeh pak kyai anake rika lagi cekelan kartu remi ( nyong nidokna dulkempot ning kyaine )
ASSSTAGGGGGGGFIIIIRRUUUUUULLLLLOOOOOOOO....OOOOO...OHHHHH...DUUUUULLLLLLKEMPOTTT!!!!
BUBAAAARRRRRR....BUBBBAAAAAARRRRRRR...RRRRR!!!!
kanca judine Dulkempot mlencinat kabeh karo ngreok duit sing nggo taruhan
Ya Allooh daning kaya kiye cobaan uripe kulo..( kyaine lemes dedes arep tiba,jebulane sesek napase kyai dulkenyut kumat gara-gara weuh dulkempot judi,nyong karo dulkempot nggotong kyai dulkenyut maring tempat nongkrongku )
Raimu sih priben hep bisane bapane nyong digawa mlebu pasar,mbok nyong mau wis pesen karo raimu,angger bapane nyong nggoleti,apen-apen ora weruh ( dulkempot nggranyami nyong )
" gyeh kunyuk,nyong kye nglakoni sing sering diwejangna ding bapane Raimu,jare bapane raimu dadi uwong kwe ora kena goroh,mendem kwe dosa Dul,apa maning ditambahi goroh,nengsih nyong siksane dobel belih ning neraka"...( nyong njawab ning dulkempot karo mencilak )
Dasar monyong raimu tah hep...
raimu ya mbahe monyong dul deleng rah kwe cangkeme njeblEh kaya kwe wkwkwkwkwkwkkwkkwkkwk
barang anjog ning terminal,kancane nyong geger..." ajiiibbb ana apa kiye,wah payahlah hepi karo pak kyai mendem ora ngajak-ngajak,kyaine nganti tepar kaya kiye"....( wkwkkwkwkwkwkwkw nyong ngekek,dikira bar mendem karo kyaine )
Nduasmu atos,bapaku klenger gara-gara weruh nyong judi koh,kunyuk nemen kye si hepi nidokna ( dulkempot ngromed maning )
wakakakakakkakakakakakakakkakakakakakakkakakakak...kancaku ggeeeerrrrr kabeh
eee yah raimu-raimu koh malah pada ngguyoni,kye priben carane ben bapane nyong sadar mbarah ( dulkempot nggranyami ning bocahan )
ana minyak angin belih ( nyong takon ning bocahan )
langka hep...minyak wangi sih ana belih...ya langka hep ( si kaswin njawab )
Pan nggo apa sih hep ( si KEmod takon )
nggo diolesna ning cungure kyaine mod ben cepet sadar
Angger nggo arak bae priben hep? mambune kan wangi ikih ( kemod njawab maning )
cerdas juga ente mod,ya wis nggo arak bae...
hob hob hob ngko ndisit,edan apa daning cungure bapane nyong pan dijejeli arak,sing bener bae mbarah...( dulkempot ngadang-ngadangi )
darurat dul...darurat...daripada bapamu ora tangi-tangi terus bablas modar priben,ente gelem ngko wong-wong pada krungu bapamu modar gara-gara weruh kon judi?
yawislah apa karepe kon-kon pada sing penting bapane nyong sadar ( akhire dulkempot pasrah,kyai dulkenyut diolesi arak ning bolongan irunge )
ora suwe kyaine tangi " ASTAGHFIRRUULLOOHHH,bisane kon dadi seneng judi,bisane dul..?astaghfirruullooh kon mabok anapan yah dul..?
nyong ora mabok pa..( dulkempot njawab )
wis gari ngaku kye mambu arak kaya kye sing cocotmu koh..!!!!
wkwkwkwkwkkwkwkwkwkwkkwkw...nyong karo kanca-kanca gembuyu ngekrek weruh bapa karo anak kudon,kyaine belih ngarti yen bolongan irunge bar diolesi arak..." wis wis ari pan kudon ning umah bae pak kyai..wkwkwkwkwkwkkwkwkwkkwkwkwk"...bapa karo anak balik rangkulan,anjog umah tukaran apa kepriben mbuh nyong ora ngerti.
barang esuke bar maghrib kyai dulkempot balik sing masjid bar wiridan suwe nemen nean,ketemu ning dalan karo nyong..."pak kyai pan maring endi rika?"...pan balik ning umah hep....ora nggoleti anake rika maning pak kyai? ( nyong takon karo nyrenges )...mbuhlah hep...( kyaine njlontor ora wani ngromed maning ning ngarepku )
( kye kisah nyata,hikmahe dadi uwong kwe aja sokan ngucik-ngucik alane wong liya,weruh alane wong liya tapi ora weruh alane dewek,beresi ndisit kelakuane dewek karo keluargane dewek,yen wis bisa tembe mberesi kelakuane wong liya )
( Sumenep - 07 - 06 - 2011 )
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